Paradise of Innocence

literaturenerd★ 1

Dear readers, I've been watching anime for a long time. I've seen a LOT of bad anime over the years. I actually seek it out because I have a morbid fascination with the absolute worst of the worst. I thought I had seen it all and nothing could really shock me, but then I learned of a non-hentai, ecchi OVA with a MAL rating under 6 and I got curious. That simply doesn't happen. Half the users on this site act like giving something a 5/10 is the same as giving something a 0/10 plus sending death threats to all of its fans. Thestuff that gets rated under a 6 on this site are all either legendarily bad anime like Dark Cat and Chargeman Ken or experimental shorts. The prototypical example of a MAL entry with a rating in the 5s would be something like "Anal Juice". It's an experimental short about an overweight woman having diarrhea for 2 minutes. It was made as the senior project of a Japanese lesbian feminist who wished to push acceptable boundaries and protest the male gaze that objectifies the female body while also finding natural functions like menstruation to be gross. At least that's what she wished to theoretically accomplish. I think most people just found it gross and weird. So for an ecchi to score close to "anal juice", I knew it had to be special. I was not prepared for how bad this anime was. This is the new worst ecchi I've ever seen in my life. It's worse than Eiken. It's worse than Jungle de Ikou. The quality of Paradise of Innocence makes Kennel Tokorozawa look like Galactic Heroes! At least Kennel had those weird facial expressions and a few jokes that landed. This is just pain for 3 episodes! Paradise of Innocence is about an "Ugly Bastard" NEET who falls into a swimming pool and is magically sent back in time to occupy the body of his 12 year old self. This is paradise for him because he's a pedophile and can perv on all the girls without them realizing what he's doing. Guess how long it takes for him to commit statutory rape of a child? If you guessed the 8 minute mark then you win! He doesn't actually penetrate her, but rubs against her vulva with his somehow massive 12 year old cock. This anime REALLY likes Frotteurism, which is ejaculating by rubbing up against people. Since this anime only shows camel toes, it's able to somehow get away with showing as much 10-12 year old vagina as it possibly can. There are some massive loop holes in Japanese censorship. Interspecies Reviewers used this to hilarious effect, while Paradise of Innocence uses it to create some of the cringiest scenes I've ever witnessed. So in the first episode after immediately rubbing up against a little girl in the gym supply closet, our ugly bastard hero decides to coerce the boys in the class to pull a prank where they spray the girls with spoiled milk. This is all an elaborate ploy to get the girls to take their clothes off. He then allows himself to be captured by the girls because he correctly predicted that they'd punish him by sitting naked on his face. Nabokov once said that Humbert was only a pseudo-intellectual trying to woo Americans with his European culture, but this dude is the real deal. He's the Lex Luthor of pedophiles playing some sort of 5D chess. The next day, the girls have all forgiven him for the milk incident and he helps a girl on her bug hunting assignment for biology class. She gets a lot of mosquito bites, so he feels her up all over her body while the anime plays the Pink Panther theme and he ejaculates in his pants again. At that point my brain was ready to just raise up a white flag and surrender, but I soldiered on. In episode 2, he has to help a gymnastics girl perform the 200 degree splits by pushing down hard on her legs and causing her extreme pain. This is framed to look like penetration so the anime can make the lamest double entendre possible. I cringed so hard during this scene I actually felt ill. Only a few other pieces of media have ever made me cringe that hard. One example was a scene in the novel "The Tin Drum" in which a pregnant woman decides to eat a raw eel that crawls out of the rotting head of a horse that washed up on a beach. The way the author described the smell and texture of the rotting brain matter almost made me throw up. Gunter Grass had an unmatched skill at describing the smell and texture of innards and gore because he was a war veteran and kept witnessing his comrades getting blown to pieces by rocket artillery. Yet this anime was able to compete in a cringe battle with the horror stories of of a battle hardened, Waffen SS tank gunner. That's just incredible. The staff of this anime can really feel proud of themselves. I have no idea how Grass would react to this anime, but it would almost certainly include the word "flammenwerfer". My favorite line of episode 2 is "Hell yes, I get to feel the marsh mellow ass of a little girl!". That wasn't even the translators being creative. He actually uses the English word marsh mellow and that's literally what he said in Japanese! So in addition to being a pedophile anime with the worst humor in existence, it's also very poorly animated. The soundtrack is terrible although I almost laughed/cried during the Pink Panther part. Even Twinkle Nora Rock Me and MD Geist had great OSTs. There is nothing positive I will say about this anime. I'm actually shocked that this anime is rated as highly as it is. It ought to be the worst rated thing on MAL besides Mars of Destruction and Chargeman. This anime under no circumstances deserves a 2. This is the easiest 1/10 I've given in a VERY long time.

loli_impregnator★ 10

The ultimate fantasy brought to life, an outstanding three-episode story that will leave any cultured person fully satisfied at the end. This series is basically perfect. It isn't afraid to ignore social stigmas and boundaries to create a rich and beautifully lewd plot. The only thing I could wish for was a better / cuter art style. However, I cannot hold the art against this series, it's not the newest, and it more than makes up for any distaste in art style for the superb amount of ecchi scenes and fan-service. They're literally off the charts. At times, it seems like it could become a Hentai atany second, but never crosses that boundary. Extremely recommend. You will love this series, if you're a person of refined taste. If you're offended by taboo lewd themes, you should probably avoid this anime and spare the world of your generic complaints.